Impro-versation: Improvising in Conversation

paul smith "Impro-versation"One of the main concerns of the conversationally-impairedis how to continue a conversation once it's started. These folksdread the possibility that a conversation will bog down and sinkinto awkward silence. I am hereby proposing a nearly fail-saferule for these folks: "Don't deny what the other person says."That is, accept what the other person says as a contribution tothe conversation; tlife. As human relations speaker and author Dale Carnegie wrote:"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."Consider the spouse who shows no curiosity about what hispartner is thinking or feeling, or the parent who does not wonderabout the thoughts and inner lives of the children. Consider themanager, thinking s/he knows everything about the business andwho expresses no interest in the employees' ideas. We know theresults: Distance and negative feelings between the people.The good news is that we can choose to be interested orcurious. This is an act of intention. For example, whohas not taken a required course of study that "held" nointerest at the outset but then, when you saw that beinguninterested in the subject resulted in poor learning andgrades, you decided to be interested in order to learn better.The same is true for our interest in other people. Forexample, a husband whose marriage is troubled and who facesseparation and even divorce because he expresses so littleinterest in his wife may choose to "become interested" abouthis wife and what she has to say. When he changes his thinkingand his attitudes, his ce presentation (which by the way, it must) and suddenly--you've got them!2. Relevant Story - Beginning a presentation with a story that directly relates to the topic is another great way to get the audience's attention. A good story engages our audience's hearts and minds and immediately draws them in. Make sure that the story is short (using a long story in the introduction can compromise the flow of the presentation) and makes a strong point. Here's an example of an introductory story used for a presentation on the benefits of a 24 hour Nurse Linour chances for success, focus on the real source of your power--your nonverbal communication such as eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture, movement, proximity, clothing, vocal variety, rate, loudness, and silent pauses.Secret #3 - Give the Audience All the Enthusiasm You Want Back!You can't expect an audience to be enthusiastic about a product or program you aren't excited about. Presentation author Doug Staneart concluded, "Your audience will have just about as much excite Article Writing Tips ent about your presentation as you do, and no more." Enthusiasm is very catchy. Most audiences will match your level of enthusiasm pound for pound.According to the Lamalle Report on Top m especially prone to this tendency, although women are not immune from it. Also "professional know-it-alls" such as teachers, managers, administrators, and some lawyers, ministers, and counselors. When offered to friends and other peers, the advice-giver assumes the authority or even parenting role, and that can be off-putting. Better to let the person finish and then, perhaps, to ask "Are you asking for my opinion?" or "What alternatives;s not knowing `that.` It’s knowing HOW. That is why the many books written about conversation are only marginally helpful. Learning more effective ways of conversing – certain moves and phrases – is a bit like learning a foreign language. If we do not rehearse the oral behaviors and only think about them, they will not beavailable to use when we want to use them spontaneously.Example: Many Japanese study English as “book-learning”for mauestions that are a little bit surprising or "edgy." These are not meant to put the person on the hot seat, or to make them uncomfortable, but to be stimulative and get a lively response instead of a routine response. "What's the most exciting/challenging'll be logged into and up-and-coming slot in the station scheduling.Go for it...it's free!Postscript: Those eleven live interviews did more than sell books on radio - they resulted in several direct invitations to repeat my pitch on local television.MILKING INCREMENTAL INCOME STREAMS AS AN AUTHORAs your book(s) become available online and offline your reputation as an expert in your paaloud at least once a month. By doing so, you are creating your own joke book. One hectic day, in the van with my three bickering children, I smiled for miles after I saw the personalized license plate on the bright red convertible: "Midlife."As a family, record funny things and place them on slips of paper. Put them in a jar (label it your “barrel of laughs”) and take one out, one each night or once a week. You won't forget the family jokes and will use them to bring you closer to each member as the years go by.If you haven't already, recall the funny memories of loved ones who have gone on and add them to your humor journal. Early every weekday mornin which has been sponsored by chambers of commerce as a benefit for their members. A professional association may be willing to sponsor your seminar as a fundraiser, where you share revenues.Teaching gives you an expert reputation, increases your income, and it's fun. I love to teach because I love to learn--and I always learn new things from my students! Learn Italian in Florence